TBD

Hello, everyone! I know what you might be thinking, "Another blog? Already? We just got one??" but it's almost the end of the year and I'm super proud that I've had another year of sticking to at least one of my main resolutions ALL YEAR!! I'm also happy that the resolution has meant staying in closer contact with all of the wonderful people that I am blessed to call my friends and family! (Just in case you didn't know last year's was to send an email at least once a month and this year it was to blog at least once a month, and while I haven't been able to blog EVERY month, It's the eleventh month and this is blog #19 or #20 I think so...it averaged out...)
I have to take just a minute to brag on my students. I took my Advance Science class (Seven 7th and 8th graders) to Texas Tech this weekend to compete in the Math & Science Competition and they represented our school very well! As newcomers to the competition, I knew it would be tough, but out of more than 300 middle and high school kids I had 2-Third Place Ribbons, 1-Fourth place ribbon, and one of my students was part of the 2nd place engineering design team!! It was a great day and it even induced an excellent conversation about college today in class!!
A few of you have asked about how things are going with my whole trek to join the Air Force so I thought I'd give you an update on that. I've lost 10 pounds since I've started, unfortunately my workout program is not what I want it to be, but I'm keeping the eating part in check, which for me really has been the biggest struggle. So I'm proud of that! When I don't have papers to grade or a class to substitute, then I go for a walk around the school. On the AFOQT side of things, the part I'm most worried about is the verbal part so I've added a few free apps on my phone that are vocabulary related. I just decided as I was typing this that I should probably also expand my reading library and start reading other things besides the Twilight books--MAYBE!! :) I've also been playing this stupid game on my iPhone that's helping with the Visual Relationships part, unfortunately it's very addictive, but it's a game that I can practice over and over and keep getting better at it, so I am a nerd and I will.
On another note, I'm getting ready for my first set of semester exams. I'm really nervous for me and my students. I also had to sign up to work Christmas night at the funeral home, which is sad, but it's money so I have to buy Christmas presents somehow right? I also have some shifts covered so that I can go to Austin as soon as school's out! Well, that's really all I have for now. Thanks for reading!

November! Nice!

I just want to start out by saying that it was really hard to pick a title for this blog, I'm really hoping I come up with something better than "November! Nice!" before I finish typing this thing, but I like for it to be, oh what's the word, where the words start with the same letter, like "Super Sunday" or "Terrific Thursday" anyway, November is a hard month to do that with, I was going to choose narly, until I found out it was actually spelled gnarly...so that left nice...ANYWAY!
Well it's been about a month since I've started my "Air Force" diet, starting two new things at the same time became complicated and I was worried I would bail on the whole thing, so I've really been focusing on the diet and nutrtion part the last couple of weeks, but now I'm ready to get back on track with the excercise. I even made out a work out schedule earlier today. I'm going to start using some of those workout videos that I have, using a different workout each day. I'm also really going to make an effort to continue the walks I take during my conference period at school. My excitement about joining the Air Force, though it hasn't been at full force this whole time, is back at a high point after sharing the news with my dad's godmother, whom I might as well call Grandma Bernetta. I took her to the Umbarger Sausage Festival today so we had some time to talk in the car ride, so I told her. It was really nice to see the look of...pride, I think, on her face. I started thinking alot about Nanny after that- as I usually do during the month of November, with it both being the month of remembering the dead and her birthday. I started wondering what her face would look like when I told her and what kind of things we would talk about. How she would encourage me and give me advice the way no one else could, usually ending with us laughing about something. So, my point, which I have, is that in honor of Guinlyn Ann Stanford, aka Nanny, or my mother's mother, I'm going to kick November's ass- in a really positive great way. I'm getting things done, just this afternoon, that I've been putting off for awhile. I even have plans to have my apartment "shindig-ready" in time for a Christmas gathering of the friends, so be thinking of a date friends. Also each Saturday and/or Sunday I will be training with my iPhone app "Couch to 5K" not sure where or when each time, but anyone in the Amarillo Area is more than welcome to come along with me. Teresa and I had a great time the last time we went. Oh- I almost forgot something. So since my last blog and the big annoucement, I've been doing lots of research on Air Force OTS (duh, I'm a nerd that's what we do, right?) Well, I found an Air Force OTS Forum, where people who are applying, have applied or have completed and their families kind of share their thoughts, ideas, whatever. Well, I've found something out that kind of affects my "plan-ish" that I posted last time. I knew that I had to take the AFOQT and the Fitness Test. I found out that I have to submit a packet of stuff to the Selection Boards, either rated (pilots) or non-rated, including test scores, transcripts, letters of recommendation, personal statement and some other stuff. Well, they only have like so many boards a year and I'd probably have to wait until the Fall non-rated board to submit my stuff, and I've found out that sometimes, after being accepted, people wait like 7-10 months before they actually start OTS, so it's going to be a long process, but as Bernetta said today "It'll be worth it!" So I have quite a few great things on the horizon. I'm taking my Advance Science class to Texas Tech this weekend for a Math/Science/Engineering competition, please pray for us, I'm nervous about that. Next week is the St. Mary's Turkey Dinner and the premiere of New Moon- which for anyone who is laughing at this, because you haven't read the books, shut up and read the books! I haven't met anyone, no matter age, gender or occupation, that hasn't read the books and enjoyed them! So why aren't you enjoying them? Then of course it's Thanksgiving, which may be my favorite Holiday! Combine food, family, friends, football and board games- oh Hell yeah! I'm excited about the end of the semester, cause it means I get to go to Austin and see Betsy!! (which may also include a brief stop in Midland to see my wonderful friends that I miss!) Then it's time for a new year! I can't believe how fast this year has gone! I'm really ready to just knock the crap out of the end of this year, and I hope you know that I mean that in a really positive way!
I just want to end 2009 feeling fine!
[Do you see what I did there? you may need to read that last sentence out loud so you can be in on my little joke :) ]
Thanks for reading! I just want to end on this quick little note: I really hope you all have someone like Nanny in your lives. She was quite possibly the most amazing person I've ever known and I'm not sure if I would be me if I hadn't been her granddaughter (not to take any credit away from mom and dad here, of course). So if you do have a Nanny in your life- the kind of person who makes you laugh when you thought you wanted to cry, even if it means that she is laughing at herself, or can give you advice in a way that you know what you should or want to do, without forcing her opinion on you-take her to lunch or coffee and say Thank you! Well, now, that I've got my crying done for the day, I think I'll sign off! Have a great November! I'm sure you'll hear from me again soon!

It's Finally Friday!!

So I've decided that today will be the day that I make my announcement!! I've been trying to think of the right time and way to announce it because I'm not really sure how people are going to react to this news. BUT then I decided that I didn't care how people reacted, well I care, it just isn't going to affect my decision. So I'm on week #3 of counting calories and my NEW and improved weight loss plan. I really think that this is the longest I've ever stuck with one. And I think there's good reason for it. I'm going to be doing something MAJOR sometime in the next year.....
I'M JOINING THE AIR FORCE!!!
Yes, I know it may seem odd, but I've been searching for something and I think I've found it! Since I'm trying to get into shape to meet the physical requirements to join, there's just been this peace about me. I don't feel sad, I feel happy and I'm REALLY ENJOYING GETTING INTO SHAPE! I know it's sick how much I enjoy it. Maybe it's cause I'm using apps that I downloaded on my iPhone, but I LOVE COUNTING CALORIES! I love working on my "Couch to 5K" program! I love pushing myself to run until the little man says "Walk Now." I really have forgotten how much I love being healthy cause I've made so many unhealthy choices in the past couple of years. BUT NOW I'M BACK! Plus, most of you know how much I really enjoy computers and technology and MATH!! And I could put all of those skills to use in the air force. I know I'm putting good use of those skills as a teacher but I just feel like I can do more! And so I AM!! Right now, my semi-plan is to hopefully be able to take the AFOQT and physical test sometime between May and early August, depending on how soon I get in shape. I am going to work at Camp Kiwanis again this summer, mostly cause I can and I love it, but also cause it's my TENTH summer to work out there. That's actually one of the hardest things to leave behind. I LOVE CAMP!
I've discussed this with a few people and I've gotten a few questions. I don't know if I'll be joining for 2 years or 4 years or maybe even longer. I know that if possible I would like to get my master's while in the air force, and if I do that then I'll need to join for a longer period of time. What happens after that, I think is the REALLY exciting part. I'm really looking forward to joining the air force and getting to travel and see and experience new things! I think one reason I am announcing this at such an early time is because I need your prayers, cause this is not going to be easy and I just can't do it alone! AND I'M NOT GIVING UP THIS TIME!! I also wanted to give everyone plenty of time to process this, just cause, especially since I just moved back to Amarillo, no one really expects me to make this kind of announcement. The other reason is cause I'll be studying and preparing, both for the physical test and the AFOQT (which is the Air Force Officer Qualifying Test). And I think it'll be easier to announce this all at one time, rather than over and over and over.
Just so you know, I've probably typed this blog, like 4 times, and as I'm typing this one, I'm skeptical to publish it (I've read it 5 times and still haven't published it...) But the same thing happened when I emailed the recruiter and that turned out well. Which if you're wondering, he emailed me a pre-qualifications sheet and I sent it back to him. His response was that my background info looked good, with the exception of my physical info-which I knew and had already told him that I was working on it. So, he said I should study for the AFOQT and let him know when I feel ready to take the tests. :)
ALSO, for all your skeptics, that have seen me start many new programs or talk about doing this or that, this is not something that I'm just going to lose interest in. I'm NOT just TALKING about it. I trained for 2 weeks before I even contacted any one in the air force. I have not signed any papers or anything, but as of right now, this is a goal that I'm very serious about and I would be honored to have your support.
So as usual, thanks for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Save it for your mama...

It's the end of my lunch break, so I will have to finish this later, but I just want to start by saying "I'M SO HAPPY TO BE TYPING ON A REAL KEYBOARD!!" Okay, so I've been doing lots of thinking. Unfortunately, it's really brought me no real conclusions... I think this may be my "quarter-life crisis"...and I don't really know what that means, LOL! So I decided to look it up on Wikipedia and this is what I found (my fellow quarter-lifers...read closely):

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:
feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
frustration with the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
confusion of identity
insecurity regarding the near future
insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
insecurity regarding present accomplishments
re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
disappointment with one's job
nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
tendency to hold stronger opinions
boredom with social interactions
loss of closeness to high school and college friends
financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
loneliness, depression and suicide
desire to have children
a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
frustration with societal ills

So I would say that I agreed with about 92% of those...hmm. In this same article, there's a book mentioned, that I may now have to read before I read the Twilight series again, or finish Harry Potter: Damian Barr's Get It Together: A Guide to Surviving Your Quarterlife Crisis. Now I'm sure some of you post-quarter-lifers, are rolling your eyes, or maybe not, I really don't know, but I'm sure this may be true for alot of people, no matter their age. But IT'S JUST NOT OKAY with me! So there are some lines that I'm going to quote here from the article and comment on:

Nobody wants to admit to feeling like a 'loser'; this secrecy may intensify the problem.- Yeah, It's never really bothered me to admit to feeling like a loser, but for some reason, it does now....

One does not automatically make progress.- I think this is one that bothers me, I LOVED being a student. In fact, I told someone the other day that if I could be a MATH student FOREVER, I WOULD BE HAPPY! You make progress, here, there's no real definitive progress. Sure there's growth, but not like I'm one step closert to a goal, unless you include retirement, which I'M NOWHERE NEAR!

The era when a professional career meant a life of occupational security – thus allowing an individual to proceed to establish an "inner life" – is coming to an end- NO ONE GAVE ME THAT MEMO IN COLLEGE!!! Did you get that memo?

The few graduates that do land decent jobs after graduation usually have to work 15–20 hours per week at a job during college and, because of this, they may end up missing social events that university life has to offer without implementing adequate time management. These students frequently desire romantic relationships but simply do not have the time in college to gain or sustain them. Thus, they may end up with a job after college but long for a romantic partner and feel as unfulfilled as the graduates who have a partner and no job- AMEN! THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! Luckily I was able to quit my job my last two semesters of college but...by then...I was me and I also was overbooked with homework and events.
.....(end of Wikipedia article quotes)....


So I guess my question is, what now? I mean how do I go back and make up for those 25-30 hours I worked a week during college. How do I "establish an "inner life"? How can I find ways to satisfy my inner-student and lover of learning? Honestly, I really don't feel like a loser. I have amazing friends, and although I see them sporadically, the amount of laughter and fun that we share somewhat makes up for the time in between. I just feel "____________" there's no word to put there, I don't want to say "lost" or "confused" but it's something that feel likes that. It's such an odd emotion that I don't even know what it's called! So I guess until I figure out "my place in this world" (which I really hate saying cause it just sounds CHEESY) I guess I will continue on my path to help make the future generations better, brighter and more creative, innovative and whatever else is needed to continue a prospering planet! I do know THAT much! That helping,
teaching, counseling and laughing with the younger generations is MY MISSION ON THE PLANET! (haha, I feel uber-cheesy right now...) And I LOVE TEACHING, I'm just not sure it's THE WAY that I want to carry out my mission.......I also want to add that this isn't meant to be a pity party or a whine and cheese feast, just thoughts. :)

Outsiders

So I can't believe that it's been a whole two months since I've bogged but I've been busy plus I'm typing this from my iPhone, so I'm sure it's going to take me a while. But I wanted to give you an update- just in case you haven't heard. So I got a job (thankfully) at holy cross catholic academy here in Amarillo. The interview wasinteresting cause I knew right after the interview that working at this school wa exactly what I was supposed to be doing. It's different from what I've been doing but I really like it. I teach 7-11th graders. My classes are algebra 2 ( a class of 4 & another of 6), algebra 1 a class of 12, 7th & 8th advanced science (10 students but it's fun and REALLY HARD FOR ME to plan lessons for), 7th math class of 12 and a math mastery class which at the moment has one student. But in some ways it's my favorite class cause if you're a teacher I'm sure at some point you've had at least one student that you just thouht if you could work one on one eith him, he'd get it. Well, the steps this student has taking in just the ten days we've been in school are amazing! Plus, I've been playing some of the games I learned with everyday math with him and I think for the first time possibly ever he's having fun in math! I've even asked my principal to order a games kit for us and he's working on it! Something funny that the actress in me misses about fourth grader is audience participation and reaction. I use the kids facial and body language to test how well the lesson is going and some of the students just dut there. But- one thing I'm really excited about, just wish it were working in practice as well as I thought it would be is my homework incentive. I didn't want to give homework passes cause they need practice, so if all of the class does their homework for acweek then they get one night of free odds or free evens. But I just thought maybe they need something more immediate, but I don't know if I want to let them do half each night, but right now there's only one class that's earned it, the class of six sophomores... So I guess I'll have to work on that.
On other news, I also found a fairly cheap apartment that isn't very far from my school, and they're really pretty nice. But I with the help if my family have my stuff moved in, I still have boxes everywhere cause I'm trying to get done more furniture and arrange rooms how I want. But it's mine and I live like three minutes from school, literally, which is amazing!! As soon as everything is ready we will be having dome dirt of celebration.
Oh, to explain the blog title: I became a fan if needtobreathe after buying the soundtrack to ps I live you, I went on to buy most if their songs. Well last Tuesday they had a new cd come out and it's AMAZING!!! like I want you all to go find it and listen to it!!! But it's title is "the outsiders" it's also a song title, but there aren't any songs that I dont like on it. It's classified as rock but it could br classified as many other things too. They have guitars, drums and a banjo! And a unique awesome lead singer!!! Give em a chance!
Well that was my first official blog as a twenty five year old!!! Just because I'm two months late doesn't mean it's any less special! Well if you're a teacher or parent or student, I wish you s fantastic school year. If you're not any of those then, I Hope your year sucks! Jk not really but I do wish you well and I'm glad to have you as a reader! :)

As the Campfire Fades...

So this may be the last chance I get for a while to blog this month, so I decided to write it on this the last night with campers here at Camp Kiwanis. I've also been inspired by recent events to write this blog, so feel free to comment with agreements and disagreements. I hope I can remember all of my talking points as I write this...

So to give you what may be a little bit of unneccessary background when I leave Camp Kiwanis this Saturday afternoon I will be completing my 9th summer on staff and 17th overall summer. So needless to say, it's a big part of my life! It's come to a point that even though some of the staff that I worked with have gone and moved, I couldn't imagine doing anything else! I remember feeling that way after maybe my 4th summer on staff! My camping experience has also helped me in all areas of life! The most recent being my move from Midland to Amarillo! I'm not sure how many of you have ever packed up and moved on your own-but it's pretty freaking stressful!! Especially when things don't go according to plan! There were several times during the weekend that I was exhausted and worn out and just didn't care! I just wanted to call my mom and say "I know I said I could handle it, but I can't so come down here and help me RIGHT NOW!" But I would immediately talk myself out of it and gave my self, several, peptalks similar to the ones that I give homesick campers! Yes I threw alot of stuff away, and I was completely exhausted by the time I got my car loaded and was ready to drive away! But the sense of pride and accomplishment at the fact that I DID IT!! ME ALL BY MYSELF!! ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING! Not just because "I had to" not because someone was standing there telling me to, but because I KNEW I COULD!! I thought I would completely just crumble into pieces when I started driving but I didn't- and I honestly think that if it weren't for my many years at camp, I would have been able to honestly say that. So that's my story~

The growth that I've seen in the young girls that come out here is something that there really are no words for. Last summer, for example, a large percentage of the staff were either staff that had worked here before or grew up going to camp here- almost all of whom I was their counselor at some point in time! To see the things these children do without their parents judgements or advice is AMAZING! Talking a child onto a horse, off the diving board, teaching her how to shot a bow and arrow and MAKE A BULLSEYE! Lighting a one match fire, using a knife for the first time, helping other campers! Oh, the list could go on but I'll stop there for I think you've got the point! Now on to my next point~

As hard as we've worked, there have unfortunately been 3 children who've gone home before the departure date! All three of the times, if we, the camp staff, had an opportunity to help the child through the initial homesickness, the camper would have made it. There's a certain gleam a camper gets in her eye after being homesick and you can tell that she's going to make it. Unfortunately, the parents didn't even give their child a chance! As a parent (and yes I realize I'm not one so saying is probably much easier than action) I believe it's your responsibility, partially, to help your child gain confidence in themselves. I know there have been times growing up that I would go and complain to mom and dad about something saying I couldn't do it, or didn't want to, and it wasn't an option! I was going to do it, and now because of that I know that if I think it through, look at all sides, and believe in myself- I CAN DO WHATEVER IT IS! I can make smart decisions. I believe that the 3 campers who went home will always have an underlying thought that their parents don't believe they CAN do something. So even though all of these parents thought that they were doing the right thing- IT WAS WRONG!! I mean if the child calls mom in November of their Freshman year in College and says, "mom I can't do this. it's too hard." even if the mom says to stay, the campers not really going to believe that she can do it! Now, some of you may think that I'm stretching this, but I'M NOT!! Camping can be SUCH an important part of childhood. If you're going to say, camp life may not be for everyone~ you may be right, but you'll never know if you don't even try!!

I'll now put my soapbox away until another parent does something stupid! :)

My bologna has a first name

Well, June's almost over, so I figured you were all "jonesing" for a new blog from me. And before I go on, will someone please tell me that they've heard that phrase before "jonesing or jonsing" well brilliant me decided to just google it...and it's slang, but here's what "urbandictionary.com" says "jonesing: craving; wanting I'm jonesing for some sushi. " so at least now I know i'm not crazy...well at least not because of that word. ANYWHO! The summer's been pretty good so far. I've realized in the past few days that I'm like a grown up now! That's kinda crazy! It's different this summer for another reason too: my friend Oscar, aka Betsy, isn't here. I've worked at camp since 2001, and Oscar and I have worked together since 2002. Two years ago, Oscar was just here part-time, but she was still at least here part time, and last summer we both stayed in the same cabin. Now, here's the grown up in me talking cause I'm okay with it, I'm not like over emotional or anything like I was when Socks or Neon left. And I'm having a great time at camp. But summer is like the MAIN time of year that I hang out with Oscar, I'm pretty sure we've hung out like EVERY 4th of July since like 2003 or so! AND NOW SHE'S IN AUSTIN! :( I don't know how to explain it, but here's a video from last summer (please excuse the profanity- nobody said we were perfect) When I took this video, we both laughed for about a good 15-20 minutes, and I crack up every time I watch it....but just for all you visual learners out there...



I'm not sure if that really helps explain anything, but I think it's funny!

Oh, on to the next subject! I HAD MY FIRST "REAL" INTERVIEW THIS MORNING!! I know!! IT'S EXCITING!! I went to a regional job fair on the 12th and talked with a local district, Pampa ISD, and gave them my resume and had a nice, short conversation with the recruiter. Well, before I even had a chance to put my application in, the high school principal called me! So I went this morning for a job interview with the math dept head and both of the asst principals, as well as the principal. It wasn't a brilliant interview, but for me it wasn't awful either- and I've had some awful ones! So they have another person to interview like next week or something so they said I should here from them in a couple of weeks or so! For people unfamiliar with Texas Panhandle-Pampa is a town about 45 minutes away from Amarillo. So I'm really glad I have some time to think about it. Yes IT'S MUCH CLOSER THAN MIDLAND, but it's still not in AMARILLO! Or even Canyon...I don't know. I'm just not sure if I want to live in Pampa, yeah I can come to town, but if I come for a weekend or something, I'll still have to stay with my parents......BUT I think it could be a really neat opportunity!! IN CASE YOU CAN'T TELL, I COULD USE A FEW PRAYERS, although I know most of you are already helping me with that! Well, I better get back to work....or playing farkle...haha..anyways! THANKS FOR READING

Until Next Time!