Saturday, June 1, 2013

fame, wealth, honor and success

      Today is one of those days that I'm really grateful, surprised and delighted in the choices that I've made in my life so far. Over the past 20 plus years, I've dreamed, hoped and envisioned my life as a successful adult. The word "success" has a different meaning to almost everyone on the planet. The dictionary has four versions of the definition:

1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.

2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

3. a performance or achievement that is marked by success, as by the attainment of honors

4. a person or thing that has had success, as measured by attainment of goals, wealth, etc.

To some people reading this, they view success as having money, house, cars, high paying job, family and many other "things." The attainment of "things" has never really been a big motivator for me. In high school, the only reason I would clean my room was when my friends wanted to go out on the weekend. I've never really considered a birthday a success because of the gifts that I was given but the people that I spent it with. Although having things is certainly a nice addition to daily life, it has never been the main drive of my life.

     I have dreamed of being a great many things as an adult. I remember the day that I became an Education major. The conversation, with myself, went something like this:

"You're never going to be able to be something like really great, you know."

"Yeah, but it could be fun trying."

"No, why don't you just go with what you know."

"Well what's that?"

"The only thing that you've thought about doing longer than five seconds."

"Oh...a teacher....ugh"

"Well, is there REALLY anything else you're capable of doing?"

"Alright, I guess it'll do..."

Not really a super motivating and exhilarating speech is it? I'm not super proud of my reluctance to become a teacher, but I'm super proud that it happened. When I FIRST thought about being a teacher, I was going to teach second grade. After my first "Early childhood Class," I knew that 2nd grade may not be a great idea. I wanted to focus on my strengths, so I picked Middle School Math & Science. My favorite group to work with at Girl Scout Camp was the 4th, 5th and 6th graders. Throughout my work, many people tried to convince me to become a high school teacher. I ignored them. High school?!? I HATED high school, mostly because of high school students! They were mean, especially to uncool people, like me. When I moved back to Amarillo, the job search was unsuccessful and super sad. I expected a job the first week of June and it was July and I had no offers!! Reluctantly I applied for a job at the Catholic Secondary School. For some reason, I had this vision of work being boring and the students lamer than me. After the interview, I was in LOVE with the school! I WANTED this job and not just because I NEEDED this job. I've just finished year four at one of the BEST JOBS I will EVER HAVE!

This year has been especially rough. I can't really tell you reasons why. There have been a lot more days that I have not wanted to go to school than I should really admit. I have spent much of the year questioning if I REALLY wanted to be a teacher. Tonight I got my answer! Yes. If you were able to know the students in the class of 2013 as I have had the privilege of doing, you would not ever question sending your kids to Catholic School, especially Holy Cross. Now, this class is not perfect. They're not all devoting their life to a religious order, but I think a few have the potential to do that. The Class of 2013 is a hodge-podge group of 17 students of varying desires, abilities, interests and personalities, who somehow manage to call each other friends, each and every one of them. I am invested in this class. I can't wait to see what kind of people they grow up to be, the kind of things they grow up to do, the kind of change they inspire in the world. I've taken a large part of this class across the world, literally.

Writing this blog, I've decided that I've been wrong about my life quite a few times, but somehow I've ended up exactly where I am supposed to be.