Thursday, January 27, 2011

Payment Pending

Before I forget- this is my 50TH BLOG POST!! Whoa! That's kind of crazy, right? I'm starting on year number three and I'm already on blog post number fifty! I would like to say that I didn't really expect to make it to fifty, but I didn't really have any expectations when I started this blog! I kind of feel like having a party in honor of number 50, kinda like TV shows and they're 100th episode....

So this blog is going to be part insight, part update. I think I'm going to go with insightful first, just so I don't lose any of them...and I think they are pretty good insights, so I hope you'll read them :)

Let the insightfulness begin!
This past weekend I finished a book titled "New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance," by Elna Baker. I saw the book over the holidays while I was shopping, but I wasn't shopping for myself. When I picked it up, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I started the book at 10 o'clock or so on Saturday night and after sleeping a couple of hours or so and going to the gym on Sunday morning, I was finished with the book by Sunday afternoon. I will say that I've never related to a character, real or fictional as much as I did to Elna Baker, a chubby Mormon girl who had spent most of her childhood being the funny girl. I don't want you to think this is some sentimental journey of a "fat girl" losing weight, it was REALLY FUNNY. Just to give you an example of the book's humor, when Elna was preparing to go to college at NYU, her very conservative mother gave her some advice to prepare her for life in the liberal and asked her what she would do "if a lesbian asked her to make out?" Elna responded, "I'd thank you, lesbian.." hahaha. There are many stories like this in the book, and I would highly recommend it, but don't take my word for it. So now for the insights. There's a part in the book where she is discussing soul mates with a friend and her friend says, "I don't believe in fate. You just find someone who likes the same things as you. You just don't know what you like. (or that you like too many things)" I had to paraphrase. This part of the book really hit home with me. I declared several years ago, although it was an internal declaration, that as a youth I was a "people-pleaser." I came to this conclusion when I started to think about the music I liked as a youth, basically sixth grade and younger, was the music choice of those around me. I don't know if it was out of fear or lack of self confidence, but I was never willing to express my opinion around my friends. Working at Girl Scout Camp was the catalyst that brought me out of my shell, although sometimes I feel like I'm just playing a part. I've always found it odd that I can't choose a favorite type of music, color, type of movie, nothing. I also don't have that ONE PASSION. I don't know if having a passion is a myth, but I've never been able to say, "If I could do one thing the rest of my life, it would be...." I like trying new things, learning new things, listening to new types of music. I'm very open-minded about my experiences I guess you could say. I've also never felt that you could "classify" me or "group" me with people. You know, I'm a nerd, but I'm not a nerd that sits around and "dreams about a faster computer" (to quote a friend). I'm wild and crazy, but I'm not one of those wild and crazy people that you always assume is either on something or off medication. I like listening to Rock music, but I'm not about to apply for "Rock of Love." I like watching/playing sports, but I'm not really a "sports fanatic." I could come up with more examples, but hopefully at this point you have caught my drift. For most of my life, I've compared myself to others and thought how do some of these people find their "soul mate." One thing that hasn't changed, I still find it odd that I'm 26 (and 1/2) and have never had a boyfriend or dated anyone. But I've never really felt like the dating type. They say opposites attract, and I don't know that you could have the "opposite of me." I guess some would say that I need to define myself, but I think giving myself a definition is boring. I don't want to be stuck in one category. The problem is that I'm either in all of them or none of them.  I'm not really sure what that means for me. I guess the only thing I can do is be happy with the way my life is, single or not, defined or not. Or decide that it's not the right way to life and give my life "definition" or "classification." I just don't feel like that's something I should have to do. I mean it's not like choosing a cereal brand or what kind of car you want to drive. In some ways, this book has almost made me more confused with who I am, yet utterly content with the person that I've become!!

Now for a news update in the ridiculous life of Lizzy. First, I made the official announcement today, but since I'm leading a group with EF tours, they have international training tours for first time leaders in Paris, Rome, Beijing and Madrid. I've chosen, and signed up for, the training in Paris over the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm really excited about it. Second, this week I "officially" became a girl scout leader, now I just have to get enough girls to sign up. My niece and sister are both pretty excited about it. I think that's about it for right now. I've been working out for almost two weeks and I'm really enjoying it!! In fact, it's time to go to the gym now. So I better sign off. Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

  1. Totally agree that you are unique and defining yourself into one category is restricting. That is amazing about Paris, and I wish we lived in Amarillo than you could be my oldest's girl scout leader. :)