From the looks of it, 2011 is going to be the year of the blog, even though it has nothing to do with my resolution this year. But I can't help it, I'm feeling inspired and need to blog so that when I lose my workout buddy I can come back and read this and stay pumped, or even the next cold front that comes in....
So, I'm sure most of you remember when I committed to losing weight and get in shape about a year and a half ago. At the time it was all to complete the main goal of joining the Air Force and becoming an officer. I don't think that I have completely discounted that option, it just isn't the main focus of my life right now, the Air Force not the weight loss. First of all, I'm hoping that those of you who count yourself as my "loyal readers," I'm hoping that you're reading this without judgement or disdain. I'm going to share some facts that at the current moment, only like 3 people know. I'm not sure where the inspiration is coming from, but I feel like withholding the information is only giving it power and I have to take back the power in order to become a better version of myself. Before I started my "weight loss journey" back in the fall of 2009, I never thought about calories, especially when I lived by myself in Midland and had to fend for myself and found the most fabulous Mexican Food restaurant that ever lived. I believe that the Spring of 09 was when I was my heaviest and I weighed 276 pounds. I'm thankful that I moved home when I did, it brought me out of the "whole"- so to speak. Last summer, at the beginning of camp I weighed in at 235, which is not a bad chunk of weight loss, if I do say so myself. After a summer of not working out like I planned and going on a cruise and then a fall without motivation, and of course the dreaded holidays, I have to say I'm not terribly upset that my current weight is 244. I'm not really proud of these numbers, in fact I'm ashamed of them, but like I said, the shame was giving my weight more power than it needed. Being the fat girl doesn't define who I am, as I discussed in the last blog- I have no definition. :) Anyway, I skipped going to the gym on Monday and Tuesday cause of the crazy cold we have here. THANK GOD FOR KRISTI! A snow storm at the end of last January is exactly what derailed my workouts last January. I just left the gym and it felt great. When we first started, about 3 weeks ago, I HATED THE ELLIPTICAL, in fact I convinced Kristi to use the treadmill for our warm up for the first week and a half. Now, I do 30 minutes every night and tonight I made my best time!! I made it to a mile in under 18 minutes! I know that doesn't sound super exciting, especially to you runners out there who run 18 miles in like 4 hours...but this whole time I've made it to a mile at 20, 19 and even made it exactly at 18 minutes once, but tonight I was kicking ass and I made it to 17:45 (I know it was just 15 seconds shy, but it was EPIC, well not epic but eventful! lol) I don't know if it's the gym, my super happy workout buddy or WHAT but this time feels even better than last time. I think last year I just expected things to be so much easier and when they weren't, I got disappointed and quit. But, not to sound all "cheesy" on you, but it's a journey. It really is. I've given myself "free days," one day a week where I don't think about calories, or the gym or anything so that I don't become overloaded with the concept of a DIET! I make sure not to like empty the pantrys on this day cause I know that it takes 30 minutes to burn 300 calories on the elliptical and that shit is hard. Anyway, I know it's just three weeks, but I'm feeling really positive about my outcomes. I think also it comes from a revelation I had this week while watching the Biggest Loser. Thank GOD that I did not get into the 3- or 4-hundred pound range!!! I told Kristi the other day that even if working out only results in me NOT GETTING fatter, I am going to be ok with it.
Oh before I forget, I have to explain my blog title. It's something I sometimes leave open for the reader to interpret as they wish, however this one warrants a story, which may not actually be as funny as is in my head, but it's a good story. (yes, I know that was a HORRIBLE run-on sentence) Tonight at Young Adults, Bryan was talking about the difference between being Involved and Dedicated. He said "A chicken is involved in breakfast, however a pig is dedicated because there's sacrifice involved." My immediate reply to this was "Is he asking us to eat bacon?" That got a nice little chuckle. I kept bringing up bacon during the night. Now I think it actually really fits cause you don't want to be a chicken and invest an hour a day at the gym you have to BE DEDICATED and give up time, energy and food to become a better version of yourself!!!
I think I have to call it quits now. I have early morning duty and it's getting closer to one am. Okay, I'm having a hard time hitting publish cause this is kind of a vulnerable post but I have to stop giving my weight too much credit for being the person that I am, good or bad. So, until NEXT TIME :)