Tuesday, March 23, 2010

To be Decided....

I know this year isn't technically over yet, and when I say year, remember that I'm a teacher, so my years are according to school years and summers! Also, I hope this sounds right, you know how sometimes I say things that don't make sense, this could be one of those times...
Anyway, today in Mass at school, I started thinking. About how all of the things that have happened have gotten me here for a reason. I honestly think that moving to Midland and teaching at Anson Jones was the absolute right thing for me to do. I would not be the teacher that I am today if it weren't for the two years I was there. I also would not have the wonderful friends that I now have from there, at least I think they're still my friends- even though I haven't been able to visit. Also, I wouldn't have the wonderful supply of Math Games that I now have, thanks to EveryDay Math. But other than that, nothing has REALLY happened the past two years. This has been the first year that things have started happening, or that I've started doing them, however you want to look at it. It all started with the passing of my best friend's dad in August. It's weird to say that I was motivated by Death, but I have been. Not long after that, a Girl Scout Friend and Mentor also passed away. A few months ago, Olga Lange, a childhood "friend" and pseudo-grandma, passed away, which I've already blogged about so I won't repeat myself. A few weeks ago, a friend/student's father also passed away, along with a friend's grandmother and fellow teacher's mother and then last night Bishop Leroy T. Matthiesen passed away. Now, maybe I'm noticing it more because I'm working in a funeral home or maybe because I was actually able to attend all of these services, where as the past two years, I was unable to attend any, but that's quite a few. Also, I need to add, I've been a little unmotivated about lots of things lately. So this morning in mass, I started to feel like I was just sitting around waiting for life to happen again, when here is this list of people who are no longer around here to live their own life. So as the end of Lent approaches and Easter Season is around the corner, I am rededicating myself to joining the Military. I completely full-heartedly believe that it is the correct place for me to be. I'm having to deal with the fact that it's not happening NOW, because of past mistakes and choices that I've made. But I'm handling it, I'm ready for it, I'm excited for it. I feel like Spring Break was a nice break from everything. I got to shoot some guns. I got to hang out with my best friend, who unfortunately/fortunately reads my mind better than I do sometimes. My nephew spent the night at my apartment also. I was nervous about this, it was his idea and he has a past track record of being kind of "choosy" (one of his birthday parties, he rejected almost every present because it wasn't what he thought it should be). But I realized that even though I don't buy them flashy toys or loud games, my nieces and nephews (and my brother) know that I love them, which is really the most important thing. Andrew was happy just to hang out with me- he didn't care what we did. They also know, that they can be whomever they want to be when they're with me and not suffer any judgement for it, or so I like to think. Those qualities are those that I think every person should have at least one person like this in their life. Along with someone who constantly pushes them to be the best. So there you have it, my life as I see it right now. My life as I see it to be and as it was and WILL BE NO MORE!
I had to blog quickly about the book I just read, cause I think it's possible it's having an effect on my current attitude, The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I haven't seen the movie yet, but the book was....good...interesting...different. I also just saw the movie Remember Me. And Yes, I saw it because Robert Pattinson was in it, but you know what? It was actually a GOOD movie. I would recommend to anyone...including non-twilight fans. :)

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