Save it for your mama...

It's the end of my lunch break, so I will have to finish this later, but I just want to start by saying "I'M SO HAPPY TO BE TYPING ON A REAL KEYBOARD!!" Okay, so I've been doing lots of thinking. Unfortunately, it's really brought me no real conclusions... I think this may be my "quarter-life crisis"...and I don't really know what that means, LOL! So I decided to look it up on Wikipedia and this is what I found (my fellow quarter-lifers...read closely):

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:
feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
frustration with the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
confusion of identity
insecurity regarding the near future
insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
insecurity regarding present accomplishments
re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
disappointment with one's job
nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
tendency to hold stronger opinions
boredom with social interactions
loss of closeness to high school and college friends
financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
loneliness, depression and suicide
desire to have children
a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
frustration with societal ills

So I would say that I agreed with about 92% of those...hmm. In this same article, there's a book mentioned, that I may now have to read before I read the Twilight series again, or finish Harry Potter: Damian Barr's Get It Together: A Guide to Surviving Your Quarterlife Crisis. Now I'm sure some of you post-quarter-lifers, are rolling your eyes, or maybe not, I really don't know, but I'm sure this may be true for alot of people, no matter their age. But IT'S JUST NOT OKAY with me! So there are some lines that I'm going to quote here from the article and comment on:

Nobody wants to admit to feeling like a 'loser'; this secrecy may intensify the problem.- Yeah, It's never really bothered me to admit to feeling like a loser, but for some reason, it does now....

One does not automatically make progress.- I think this is one that bothers me, I LOVED being a student. In fact, I told someone the other day that if I could be a MATH student FOREVER, I WOULD BE HAPPY! You make progress, here, there's no real definitive progress. Sure there's growth, but not like I'm one step closert to a goal, unless you include retirement, which I'M NOWHERE NEAR!

The era when a professional career meant a life of occupational security – thus allowing an individual to proceed to establish an "inner life" – is coming to an end- NO ONE GAVE ME THAT MEMO IN COLLEGE!!! Did you get that memo?

The few graduates that do land decent jobs after graduation usually have to work 15–20 hours per week at a job during college and, because of this, they may end up missing social events that university life has to offer without implementing adequate time management. These students frequently desire romantic relationships but simply do not have the time in college to gain or sustain them. Thus, they may end up with a job after college but long for a romantic partner and feel as unfulfilled as the graduates who have a partner and no job- AMEN! THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! Luckily I was able to quit my job my last two semesters of college but...by then...I was me and I also was overbooked with homework and events.
.....(end of Wikipedia article quotes)....


So I guess my question is, what now? I mean how do I go back and make up for those 25-30 hours I worked a week during college. How do I "establish an "inner life"? How can I find ways to satisfy my inner-student and lover of learning? Honestly, I really don't feel like a loser. I have amazing friends, and although I see them sporadically, the amount of laughter and fun that we share somewhat makes up for the time in between. I just feel "____________" there's no word to put there, I don't want to say "lost" or "confused" but it's something that feel likes that. It's such an odd emotion that I don't even know what it's called! So I guess until I figure out "my place in this world" (which I really hate saying cause it just sounds CHEESY) I guess I will continue on my path to help make the future generations better, brighter and more creative, innovative and whatever else is needed to continue a prospering planet! I do know THAT much! That helping,
teaching, counseling and laughing with the younger generations is MY MISSION ON THE PLANET! (haha, I feel uber-cheesy right now...) And I LOVE TEACHING, I'm just not sure it's THE WAY that I want to carry out my mission.......I also want to add that this isn't meant to be a pity party or a whine and cheese feast, just thoughts. :)

Outsiders

So I can't believe that it's been a whole two months since I've bogged but I've been busy plus I'm typing this from my iPhone, so I'm sure it's going to take me a while. But I wanted to give you an update- just in case you haven't heard. So I got a job (thankfully) at holy cross catholic academy here in Amarillo. The interview wasinteresting cause I knew right after the interview that working at this school wa exactly what I was supposed to be doing. It's different from what I've been doing but I really like it. I teach 7-11th graders. My classes are algebra 2 ( a class of 4 & another of 6), algebra 1 a class of 12, 7th & 8th advanced science (10 students but it's fun and REALLY HARD FOR ME to plan lessons for), 7th math class of 12 and a math mastery class which at the moment has one student. But in some ways it's my favorite class cause if you're a teacher I'm sure at some point you've had at least one student that you just thouht if you could work one on one eith him, he'd get it. Well, the steps this student has taking in just the ten days we've been in school are amazing! Plus, I've been playing some of the games I learned with everyday math with him and I think for the first time possibly ever he's having fun in math! I've even asked my principal to order a games kit for us and he's working on it! Something funny that the actress in me misses about fourth grader is audience participation and reaction. I use the kids facial and body language to test how well the lesson is going and some of the students just dut there. But- one thing I'm really excited about, just wish it were working in practice as well as I thought it would be is my homework incentive. I didn't want to give homework passes cause they need practice, so if all of the class does their homework for acweek then they get one night of free odds or free evens. But I just thought maybe they need something more immediate, but I don't know if I want to let them do half each night, but right now there's only one class that's earned it, the class of six sophomores... So I guess I'll have to work on that.
On other news, I also found a fairly cheap apartment that isn't very far from my school, and they're really pretty nice. But I with the help if my family have my stuff moved in, I still have boxes everywhere cause I'm trying to get done more furniture and arrange rooms how I want. But it's mine and I live like three minutes from school, literally, which is amazing!! As soon as everything is ready we will be having dome dirt of celebration.
Oh, to explain the blog title: I became a fan if needtobreathe after buying the soundtrack to ps I live you, I went on to buy most if their songs. Well last Tuesday they had a new cd come out and it's AMAZING!!! like I want you all to go find it and listen to it!!! But it's title is "the outsiders" it's also a song title, but there aren't any songs that I dont like on it. It's classified as rock but it could br classified as many other things too. They have guitars, drums and a banjo! And a unique awesome lead singer!!! Give em a chance!
Well that was my first official blog as a twenty five year old!!! Just because I'm two months late doesn't mean it's any less special! Well if you're a teacher or parent or student, I wish you s fantastic school year. If you're not any of those then, I Hope your year sucks! Jk not really but I do wish you well and I'm glad to have you as a reader! :)